Adoption is not easy...

My sweet boy made some confessions to me after I was pretty hard today in giving him the facts.  It may seem harsh to many who are not in our situation but I did what I thought best for Josh.  Today, I'm remembering our story.  The story of how he came to be my son. 

We adopted Joshua, April 30, 2009.  He had been with me for about 11 months when his adoption, along with his 2 sisters, was finalized.  Josh had always made it clear to me that he wanted to go back home to his birth parents. But there was never any doubts whether he was supposed to be with me.  You see, my husband and I had been a foster parent for a few years and we had initially gotten into foster care with belief that God wanted me and my husband to adopt.  After awhile of doing straight foster care, we realized that we needed to change our license to a "foster-to-adopt" license because fostering was taking far too much energy and time for this home schooling mama.  So we told them to change our license over.  And then we waited.  For an entire year, we waited for them to change our license, all to no avail.  I emailed. I called.  I talked to them in person.  But no updates were done.  In the meantime, I read an article in The Voice of the Martyr's magazine about some horrible persecution that occurred to some Christians in Chiapas, Mexico.  I felt so burdened for them knowing that millions of Mexican's were fleeing their country for one reason or another and coming into our country.  The Lord said to me, "See? I'm bringing the mission field right here to the USA".  Then I had another thought.  What if we adopted children who were from, or descendants of people from, Chiapas?  What if we were able to help children who didn't have families who could...or would take care of them?  So that became my prayer...that I would be able to adopt children from Chiapas.  Next, the Lord burdened me for a sibling group.  I knew that many children who were brought into foster care were separated because often families don't want several children at once!  So I began to pray for a sibling group.  So then I began to think about my birth children.  I have 3 birth sons and 1 birth daughter.  I needed more girls!  But boys are harder to place.  Everyone wants a girl...boys have to wait longer....sometimes forever if they have problems.  So that did it.  I began to pray for 2 girls and a boy.  I prayed for months.  Finally, on May 19, 2008, I realized something.  I was happy with my 4 birth children.  I didn't feel like I had to have more kids and I was beginning to doubt that this was what God wanted for me.  Maybe I was just mixing up what I wanted for what He wanted.  So on May 19, I prayed a simple prayer completely surrendered to whatever the outcome was that God had in mind for us:

"Father, I love the family you've given me!  I feel blessed beyond measure.  I really like that they are getting a bit older too, so we can do more stuff with them.  But Father, I've always wanted to adopt and I always thought You wanted me to do this.  Maybe I didn't understand?  Maybe I was getting ahead of myself and calling it "Your will".  I don't want that!  I only want to do Your will!  So Father, I'm asking you right now to show me clearly what Your will is.  If you want us to proceed with trying to adopt, I'm asking that you move the hearts of the people at DFACS to either update our license or for them to call with the children that YOU want us to adopt this week.  And Lord, I would really prefer to just have the kids if possible so we can just get on with our lives.  And Lord, do you remember those children who stayed with use 4 days about a year ago?  If they are still in foster care and need an adoptive family AND YOU WANT US TO ADOPT THEM, well....that'd be just fine with me."

 May 20, 2008, Judy M. called from DFACS and asked me if I were interested in 2 girls, ages 1 and 3, as a foster-to-adopt placement.  That's all the info I got at first. A few minutes later she noticed they also had a brother.  I quickly called my husband...overwhelmed and in tears at how quickly God had answered my prayer.  He agreed and so I called her back.  They brought my children to my home a few hours later and they've been here ever since.

• Prayer answered: They were the children that had spent 4 days in my home when they first came into foster care.
• Prayer answered: They were of Mexican descent, though I don't know from what region in Mexico. Until God shows me otherwise, I will believe that this was another direct answer to prayer and they are from Chiapas.
• Prayer answered: They are 2 girls and a boy.
• Prayer answered:They were brought to me the day after I prayed, "Not my will but thine". I dared to lay out my fleece before God, giving Him a timetable so that I could know His will and He dared to answer that prayer and reveal His will.

The rest of our adoption story will be continued in the next post.